May 26, 2008
Dear stomach illnesses/ailments/poisoning,
Fuck You! You have beaten me to a weak pulp (that’s how my bowel movements are btw) such that I can barely eat or barely have the energy to do anything now. My stomach hurts…my ass hurts like I’ve been to jail for eating babies. Why are you so cruel? Please have mercy?
I [...]
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May 24, 2008
Dear Blog Promotion,
Fuck You! Blogging isn’t just about blogging these days…sometimes it’s about pulling in the maximum amount of cash and a lot of the time you have to put effort in annoying the shit about the people by promoting it through forums and the like. Basically it’s a ton of work, sometimes it does [...]
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May 23, 2008
Dear Angel my pet cat,
Fuck You! While you play innocently in my room trying to be friendly with me, the scars you left me remain. Sometimes you inexplicitly turn on the “evil bitch cat” mode on me and as a result, you attack me if I walk by or come close. Yeah sure sometimes it’s [...]
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May 21, 2008
Dear grades/marks/percentages/scores/whatever the fuck you want to call it,
Fuck you! Thank you for making me feel less then special, average, mediocre, like shit, crappy, terrible, humbled and whatever fucking name you have for making me feel inferior.
All the marks are, are just letter grades but the power they have in categorizing you based on your [...]
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May 20, 2008
Dear Japanese Porn,
Fuck You! If you’ve ever watched porn and happened to stumble upon a hot Japanese porn video you may like…you would’ve learned of something quite ludicrous.
Japanese porn is unique to this idea of partial censoring porn videos but the censoring is so pointless that it is a little bit annoying and it almost [...]
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May 18, 2008
Dear blisters,
Fuck you! Why do you have to be so painful? You formed underneath my big toe is cause excruciating pain while I walk and considering I have a weak ankle the rest of my leg is now sore. Thanks a lot you jerk. I’m wearing a band-aid over you now to pad the foot [...]
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May 17, 2008
Dear Magic Golden Thongs,
Fuck You! First off you’re not really helping out the New York Yankees out of their slump. The creator of this “wonderful” idea, Jason Giambi has a sporty .181 average, the way he talks about it sounds like he’s wearing about 5 right now.
Even more disgusting is how the golden thing is [...]
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May 14, 2008
Dear Racist Card,
Fuck You! I am not looking at you funny because you are Black, Hispanic, Asian, Purple, Green, or Blue. I am looking at you because you are a fucking crazy basket case. Unfortunately as soon as I say that, you’ll come back with “It’s because I’m {insert color of choice} and [...]
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May 12, 2008
Dear Writer’s Block,
FUck You! [insert rant here]
From,
All writers who have to suffer through a momentary lapse in creativity or inspiration.
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